There’s a chance you’ll hate this blog post
There’s a significant possibility that you’re going to be very disappointed with this article.
Why?
Well, if you’ve read any of my stuff before, you know that I’m very “checklist-y.” So, the assumption is that this blog post would be the same — an extremely thorough checklist for how to leave your job and start doing something you love.
Now, this article will teach you how to leave your job and start doing something you love.
But, it’s not going to come in the form of a lengthy checklist.
Really, there are only three steps.
- Figure out where you are
- Figure out where you want to go
- Go there
I am aware that this overly simple formula to guide you through the emotionally arduous experience of leaving a job may feel offensive. But, boiling it down to the essential tasks will actually help you move to where you want to go.
I mean, how many people do you know that have worked at jobs they hate for years?
We don’t want to be those people.
To help you move through these three steps, I’m going to introduce you to a timeless model that is infinitely more valuable than any checklist I could present. It will also get you the quickest and longest lasting results.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is this: stick with me.
And let’s get you doing work you love.
My $300,000 mistake
Nearly two years ago, my team and I started building a high-ticket group coaching program. Our customers were asking for it, my team believed in it and it was the popular trend in the market.
We launched and pretty quickly built it to a $55,000/month recurring product.
The only problem?
I hated it.
I didn’t hate the people, of course.
But, the ongoing group coaching model was absolutely agonizing. I hated that I couldn’t give people more individual attention, I hated that the “ongoing-ness” eliminated hustle, I hated that there was so much discrepancy in the buy-in from members.
And, it’s not like the program wasn’t successful. I mean, it certainly wasn’t perfect, but people got results. In fact, we had a member make over $1M in a year.
But, the entire thing was extremely anxiety-inducing for me.
Somehow, with me as my own boss, I built a wing of my business that I detested. And I had invested $300,000 to do it. Talk about a massive blunder.
I’ve since realized that had I taken just a moment to consider why I was moving in the “high-ticket group coaching” direction, I wouldn’t have done it.
Remember the reasons I moved forward in the first place?
- My customers wanted it
- My team wanted it
- The market supported it
But, I didn’t want it.
I didn’t take the time to:
- Figure out where I was
- Figure out where I wanted to go
I moved because it was the easy decision, but it certainly wasn’t the right one.
The 3 ways to not leave your job
Too often, people move without knowing where they’re going. This is especially true when people leave their jobs.
They make frantic decisions trying to escape their pain. But their rushed decisions do little to alleviate their suffering.
Why?
Because they go about leaving their jobs in one of three terrible ways.
Terrible way #1: Move aimlessly
This is what I did when I built my group coaching program. I made big moves but to where? And for what purpose?
This is like Sharon Eubank, director of LDS Charities, who once dramatically quit her job, emptied out her savings and moved to France for a year to try and “find herself.” In reflecting upon her experience in her TedX Talk, she said the entire trip was a “mistake.” She didn’t need to go to France; what she needed was to slow down and listen to herself.
She impulsively left the country to escape, taking her somewhere she didn’t ultimately want to be.
Terrible way #2: Move laterally
Sometimes, people move from from one dissatisfying job to the next, thinking that something “new” will make them happy.
This is like an accountant, who hates accounting, switching from working at PwC to Ernst & Young. Or a basketball player, who hastes basketball, switching from playing for the Warriors to the Bucks.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who they work for. The accountant still hates accounting and the basketball player still hates basketball.
Terrible way #3: Move familiarly
Sometimes, people move back into something they once escaped. They do it because though they hate it, it’s familiar.
This is like a person who hated teaching, left to a different job, but went back to teaching because it’s what they knew. It’s also why studies show that people go from one abusive relationship to the next — they certainly don’t desire it, but it’s what they are familiar with. They know what to expect and they know they can survive it.
The truth is that any move is a distraction if you haven’t:
- Figured out where you are
- Figured out where you want to go
I’m not sure what brought you to this blog article.
- Maybe you want to leave your job for another job
- Maybe you want to leave for job to start your own thing (CF Design School and Scale It can help)
- Maybe right now you’re not sure where you want to go; all you know is that you’ve gotta get out of wherever you are
Regardless, to ensure that you don’t move aimlessly, laterally or familiarly, it’s essential to have extremely clear answers to:
- Where you currently are
- Where you want to go
The scariest question in the world
My husband once said, “I think that the question, ‘What do you want?’ is the scariest question in the world.”
“Why?” I responded.
He continued, “I think there is a cost associated with really answering the question. If you get clear on what you want, you must either move or intentionally choose to not live in integrity. You can’t move forward in ignorance anymore.”
And, he’s right.
It’s terrifying to declare what you want.
But, true happiness lies in our capacity to choose and then move forward on those choices. It’s why so many people seek “freedom.”
Unfortunately though, too many people drift rather than decide.
But, we’re not going to be those people.
If you leave your job, we’re going to ensure that you end up in a place that you want to be.
Why you should listen to me
My name is Kathryn Jones. As a business coach, I’ve helped people leave places of pain and arrive at places of happiness for years.
- Like Stasia Rivera, who had a dream to help improve the mental health and performance of collegiate athletes. She’s since launched her company AQ Athletics and now is selling her products in bulk to colleges who distribute her curriculum to thousands of student athletes at a time.
- Or Molle Dorst, who went from being afraid to charge $100 per funnel to making over $1M in just a year.
- Or Chris Murphy, who created a full-time job for himself as a funnel builder after going through CF Design School.
I’ve also personally left and arrived at new beginnings successfully and, as depicted above, not so successfully. Gratefully, these experiences have helped me identify the patterns that result in the more desirable outcomes.
What you’ll find in this guide
Here’s what you’ll find in this guide:
▷Part 1: How to figure out where you are
▷Part 2: How to figure out where you want to go
▷Part 3: How to go after what you want
▷Part 4: What to do when you figure out what you want
▷Part 5: What to expect when you figure out what you want
Part 1: How to figure out where you are
You can’t get directions if you don’t know where you want to go. But, you also can’t get directions if you don’t know your starting point.
The KNOW-CARE Quadrant
I want to introduce you to the KNOW-CARE Quadrant.
The purpose of this Quadrant is to help you identify the first step in our formula: Figure out where you are.
Once we figure this out, we can move on to figuring out where you want to go.
The Knowing Axis
On one axis of the KNOW-CARE Quadrant is Knowing.
Knowing means that something is “done in full awareness or consciousness.”
This is where we ask the question, “How clear are you on where you want to go?”
On this Quadrant, you can answer two ways:
- I’m 100% clear = Know
- I’m less than 100% clear = Don’t know
There are some people who have wanted to be a doctor since they were 6 years old. Their path has always been clear.
I zero percent relate to these people.
I want (and have always wanted) to do everything, all the time, all at once. The fact that someone has one career for their entire life boggles me.
There are seasons in life when you’re crystal clear on where you want to go next. There are other seasons where you’ll have no idea or can only see inklings of what you want next. I’m learning that, as frustrating as it is, you can’t know everything at once.
That’s okay.
A few years ago, my friend broke up with her boyfriend. He responded with, “Listen, life is just a series of educated guesses. And, if this is your best educated guess for the direction to take in your life, then who am I to question that?”
What a line!
Life is a series of educated guesses.
Do you know what you want next? Or, in our context, do you know what you want to do instead of your current job?
If you do 100%, you’re in the Know column. If you don’t 100%, you’re in the Don’t know column.
The Caring Axis
The other axis of the KNOW-CARE Quadrant is Caring.
Caring means to “display concern” and concern means to “be about something.”
Don’t you love that?
If you care about something, you’re about it.
I remember a sobering moment at 23 years old when I realized: “Holy crap, if I don’t actually do stuff with my life, none of the things I’ve hoped for will ever come true.”
I know this may sound stupid but it hit me like a ton of bricks. If I didn’t care to make something of my life, no one would do it for me.
That kicked my “caring-butt” right into action.
Do you care enough to take action to get what you want? Or, in our context, do you care enough to make the moves to leave your job and start doing something you love?
If you do 100%, you’re in the Care column. If you don’t 100%, you’re in the Don’t care column.
The 4-types of people
The KNOW-CARE Quadrant highlights four types of people who vary in their level of both Knowing and Caring.
Which one are you?
Person #1: The Focused Person
A Focused Person Knows what they want and they Care enough to take action.
There is a woman named Karla Williams in my community who knows exactly what she wants.
She wants to build a movement around healthy, affordable nutrition. And she wants to “take down” specific companies that she feels are exploiting people’s good intentions when it comes to health.
She has young two kids and is extremely busy.
But, with the clarity of knowing what she wants, she hires babysitters to give her time to work, she does her homework, she’s started building a community and she has relentlessly sold her product.
She said, “I feel like God gave me extreme clarity about what to do and a chance to do it. If I don’t move, this stewardship could be given to someone else. So, I’m going to move on this.”
A Focused Person could also be someone who:
- Knows they want to make passive income online so they set up a funnel strategy to their products sell while they sleep
- Knows they want to reduce the amount of money they pay on taxes so they hire a tax strategist to help them get their money in order
- Knows they want to work with higher-paying customers so they learn how to regularly book 5-figure clients
They Know what they want and they Care enough to take action.
Person #2: The Brave Person
A Brave Person Doesn’t know what they want but they Care enough to take action.
When I got back from my 18 month mission trip, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. The only direction I had was that I wanted to “help people.”
I thought, “It’s easier to help people when you have money, so maybe I should start there?”
I didn’t know 100% what I wanted but I cared enough to move.
So, I started reading personal finance books, self-development books and business books. This led to me buying online business courses, learning more technical skillsets and launching my first product.
After some time, I eventually discovered “digital marketing” and my soul caught on fire. Helping people get their good ideas out into the world — that was what I wanted to do. But, I would have never gotten that clarity had I not started to chip away at my “I want to help people” inkling.
My mom’s advice growing up was always, “Go where there is light.”
This is key for The Brave Person. If you’re not 100% sure what you want, make your best educated guess and move in that direction.
A Brave Person could also be someone who:
- Doesn’t know exactly what area of film they want to work in so they start writing, directing, shooting, editing and publishing videos to get a feel for the part they like the best
- Doesn’t know how to become their own boss so they start with figuring out how to make money from a side-hustle as a starting point
- Doesn’t know how to make more money so they start learning coding, knowing that it helps increase their pay for nearly every job
They Don’t know what they want 100% but they Care enough to take action.
Person #3: The Scared Person
A Scared Person Doesn’t know what they want and Doesn’t care enough to take action.
There are two types of Scared People:
- The Timid Scared Person: these people so overwhelmed with not knowing what they want that they freeze and do nothing
- This is a bit like not looking at your bank account. You know you need to address the bills to be paid but you’re too afraid to confront reality.
- The Complaining Scared Person: these people also don’t know what they want but rather than do something about it, they pass the blame for their circumstances and complain; though they come off boisterous, their complaining masks a scared, insecure little kid wanting someone to come save them
- This is a bit like wanting greener grass but rather than putting in a sprinkler system, you complain about how infrequently it rains.
A Scared Person could also be someone who:
- Doesn’t know what career path they want to take so they distract themselves with TikTok and video games, working as a waiter to scrape by
- Doesn’t know what job they want next but never researches any other options so they stay at a job they hate
- Doesn’t know how to make more money so they complain about taxes and never do anything to increase their earning potential
They Don’t know what they want and they Don’t care enough to take action.
Person #4: The Distracted Person
A Distracted Person is someone who Knows what they want but Doesn’t care enough to take action.
Because they are intentionally neglectful, this is the worst category to be in.
I am perpetually fascinated by people who pay a lot of money for my coaching but then don’t do what I tell them to do. They know their next steps, but rather than do them they either sit idly or occupy themselves with less important tasks.
A Distracted Person could also be someone who:
- Knows they want work remotely but they’re too afraid to ask their boss to work from home so their circumstances never change
- Knows they want to get a raise but is too afraid their boss will tell them ‘no’ so they never say anything
- Knows they want to work in music but they’re too afraid of what people will say for switching paths mid-career so they stay at a job they hate
They Know what they want but they Don’t care enough to take action.
Which type of person are you?
Some people may argue that it’s easier to be a Distracted Person and more difficult to be a Focused Person. But, there is a price to pay regardless of what quadrant you’re in.
If you’re a Focused Person, you pay the price of expansion. If you’re a Distracted Person, you pay the price of shrinking.
You might as well spend the energy becoming the best version of yourself rather than decaying into a lesser version of you.
Your responsibility is to identify which type of person you are: Focused, Brave, Scared or Distracted.
Do this and you’ll be done with step one of our formula:
- Figure out where you currently are
Once you’ve determined that, we can move onto our second step of figuring out where you want to go.
Part 2: How to figure out where you want to go
The Brave Person and the Scared Person are similar because they Don’t know what they want.
So, if you are one of these people, the immediate question to ask is, “How can I go from Don’t know to Know?” or “How can I figure out where I want to go?”
Remember, Knowing means “awareness.”
There are two ways to develop awareness.
The first is to Get still.
Get still
Take time to be still and accurately diagnose your current professional situation.
One of my programs starts with people doing an Actuality Assessment.
They go through different areas of their lives — their sense of self, their spirituality, their health, their relationships and their business — and get painfully clear on what is actually happening.
As an example, in the Business category, we answer questions like:
- What is the reality of your offers/what you sell?
- What is the reality of your traffic, lead generation and social media channels?
- What is the reality of the profit (not revenue) coming in?
- What is the reality of the impact you’re having (amount of impact, ability to have impact, availability to have impact)?
Once they’ve answered these questions, they then have to express how they feel about the answers. Are they satisfied, disappointed, wish things were different?
From this exercise, people often learn what they do want by seeing clearly what they don’t want from their current realities.
The same can be true for you.
Consider answering the following questions:
- What is the reality of your work environment?
- What is the reality of your work-life balance?
- What is the reality of your relationship with your boss?
- What is the reality of the trajectory of company you’re working for?
- What the the reality of the growth opportunities available to you?
- What is the reality of the networking opportunities available to you?
- What is the reality of your salary?
- What is the reality of your benefits?
- What is the reality of how much you enjoy the tasks your job requires?
- What is the reality of your training and professional development?
- What is the reality of the location demands of where you work?
Once you’ve identified the reality of these categories, consider how you feel about each one. Is it something you like, are satisfied with, wish would change or is it something that you need to remove yourself from?
- You may realize you don’t actually want to leave your job. Maybe you just need to have a conversation with your boss.
- You may realize you want to stay in your same occupation but switch companies.
- You may realize you want an entirely different profession.
- You may realize you want to start your own business.
- You may realize you want to work less and get paid more.
Oftentimes, the act of getting clear on where you’re currently at helps you get clear on where you want to go.
Get moving
The other way to develop awareness is to move.
Sometimes, you can brainstorm, map out, journal and ponder for months trying to determine what you want without any success.
I’ve been there.
If this happens to you, your next option is to get moving.
There was a girl I went to church with that had been dating a boy for over a year. She was madly in love with him and wanted to get married. He was more hesitant.
Long story short: the reason he didn’t want to marry this her was because he was already married to someone else. He’d been playing her, and his wife, the entire time.
This poor girl had no idea.
She immediately broke up with him but she was devastated. She felt betrayed, confused and stupid.
Pretty soon after this experience, she made a comment in Sunday School saying, “As a lot of you know, my life recently got turned upside down. I keep praying to God to know what to do and it just feels like there are no answers coming.”
She continued, “So, until I get direction from God, I’m just going to keep doing the things that I know I should be doing. I’m going to keep praying, I’m going to keep reading my scriptures, I’m going to keep showing up to church. I’m going to keep improving myself, I’m going to keep taking care of my body and I’m going to keep serving others.”
Then she repeated, almost as if confirming to herself, “Yeah, that’s my plan. I’m going to do the things I know I should be doing until I know what to do next.”
Brutal story, awesome lesson.
If you’re unsure of what you want next in your professional career, do what you know you should be doing until you figure out your next move.
- Take someone from an intriguing company out to lunch every week
- Learn new skills to make you a more valuable company asset
- Attend conferences to learn what other paths are available
- Start trying to make money on the side
Remember, “Life is just a series of educated guesses.” So, make your best educated guess and move. Or as my mama says, “Go where there is light.”
Part 3: How to go after what you want
The Scared Person and the Distracted Person are similar because they Don’t care enough take action toward what they want.
If you are one of these people, the immediate question to ask is, “How can I go from Don’t care to Care?” or “How can I care enough to get what I want?”
Remember, care means to “be about something.”
Or, as I say, “If you want a story to be true, live it.”
There is a popular question in the education reformation space around whether passion is discovered or earned.
The answer is that both can be true.
This means that you can go from Don’t care to Care simply by filling your life with the thing you want to care about.
- If you desire to make more money online, be about it; fill your day learning about this subject
- If you desire a career change, be about it; fill your day learning about this subject
- If you desire a raise, be about it; fill your day learning about this subject
Sure, Care is something that can magically show up. But it is also something that can be cultivated. So, if you don’t have the drive to move, cultivate it.
It is your problem
I had been serving a mission for my church in Los Angeles for a year when we got a new Mission President (essentially, a new CEO).
Him and his wife were extremely impressive people who had dominated in the professional field, had raised an amazing family and were spiritual giants.
Within a week of arriving, they insisted on meeting with every missionary in the Los Angeles area — all 200 of us.
In our meeting, after getting to know each other briefly, my new Mission President said, “Sister Jones, you’ve been here for a whole year. I’ve been here for two weeks. I desperately need your opinion. What needs to improve in our mission?”
Well, as you can imagine, my spitfire 22-year-old self had a list of complaints.
I told him how the car schedule needed to change and how the meeting structure was inefficient. I expressed how it was insane that there was no online presence for many of the young adult congregations.
I rattled off a few more ideas and as I did, he frantically wrote everything down.
He then asked me, “Alright, what would you do to improve these things?”
We went through the list one-by-one.
“Finally!” I thought. “Someone is going to take care of all these problems!”
After we had debriefed all of the items on the list, he said, “Do you feel satisfied with everything on this list?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Great,” he remarked.
He then turned the paper 180 degrees and slid it across the table to me.
“Go take care of it,” he said.
I was dumbfounded.
“What?” I remarked back.
“If these things need fixing, go fix them. If you get stuck on any of them, give me a call. But, know that you have my full authorization to put all of these plans into order. Get to it.”
I left the room, paper in hand, with my jaw on the floor.
It was the first time in my life that I realized that I could solve real, adult problems. And that if I wasn’t going to do it, who was?
That single interaction changed the trajectory of my entire life.
This man taught me that if there is something I’m not happy about, the only way it is going to change is if I do something about it.
This is true for the Scared Person and the Distracted Person.
Your life is your problem.
So, get to it.
Part 4: What to do when you figure out what you want
Remember our formula:
- Figure out where you are — aka Identify who you are on the KNOW-CARE Quadrant
- Figure out where you want to go — aka Move from Don’t know to Know and Don’t care to Care
Once you’ve made it to the Focused Quadrant, it’s time for Step 3 — Go where you want to go.
In your moving, I suggest following these three principles:
Tell someone more successful than you
A study from Ohio State University found that “people tend to be more committed to their goals after they share them with someone who they see as ‘higher status,’ or whose opinions they respect.”
When I hired my first business coach, my business made a major shift for the better. One of the reasons why is because, in my desire to advance from her student to her peer, I started making moves differently because I had let this “higher status” woman in on my dreams.
Enlisting her help is what inspired me to move forward when I previously would have shrunk.
Tell someone more successful than you.
Make a plan
There are a lot of ways to leave your job.
- You can make up your full-time income before leaving
- You can immediately switch to another job
- You can just quit entirely
The way to determine how to leave is by answering the same question as before, “What do you want?”
- Do you prioritize security? Maybe practice making money before you jump ship.
- Do you priority freedom? Figure out how to leave as quickly as possible while still being able to eat.
Either way, now that you’ve figured out where you currently are and where you want to go, it’s your responsibility to fill in the directions for how to get there.
Make them as specific as Google Maps would for you.
Turn left here, drive 2.6 miles there.
Remove every level of ambiguity. Make the roadmap and drive.
If you need help, ask someone who has been where you want to go. They can help you know which turns to take.
The real currency
Alex Charfen says that “momentum is the currency of entrepreneurship.”
Really, I think it’s the currency of everything.
You win when you’re in momentum.
So, check off the first step in your plan and keep on stepping. Not once a month, not once a week. Every single day.
I suggest making a daily appointment with yourself. For example, work on your “Leave Your Job” plan from 6-7pm every day. If people ask you to do something during that time, tell them you already have a commitment.
Attaining what you want requires a full buy-in. So “be about it” and buy-in.
The people that win the game are the people that stay in the game.
Part 5: What to expect when you figure out what you want
Once you figure out what you want, a few things will happen.
You’ll get what you want
If you move toward what you want, you might actually get it. This is exhilarating.
I remember when I first launched CF Design School.
Here’s a picture of me from my very first webinar. I was too afraid to show my face that I kept my camera off the entire time.
As motivation to keep going after that first pitch, I posted a huge piece of butcher paper on my wall with the numbers 1-27 on it.
For whatever reason, I decided that 27 people inside of my course was going to be the first milestone I would work toward. With every sale I made, I would cross off the number.
I used to day dream about how different my life would be when I made 27 sales.
Well, $1M in sales later, I’m so grateful for my brave 2018 self for relentlessly going after those first 27 sales.
You’ll have to figure out what you want again
Once you get what you want, you’ll have to figure out what you want next.
You’ll move from the Focused Person quadrant to the Brave Person quadrant.
I didn’t quite realize this was going to happen in the beginning. So, when I had accomplished my business goals and no longer found purpose in what I was doing, I was terrified.
If you find yourself at this point, it’s normal.
Bob Goff said, “Just when we think we have corralled [our ambitions], they change. When this happens, don’t just bummed out; get current with your new ambitions. I know it feels like a hassle but it’s a good thing. We’re supposed be be new creations, and there will be nothing new about us if everything remains the same.”
Allow yourself to expand. Allow yourself to want new things.
As Travis and I regularly say to each other, “If we’re not having an existential crisis every 6 months, we’re probably not creating big enough or fast enough.”
You’ll freak out
I got a stress ulcer once I got super clear on where I wanted to go.
Like my husband said, there is a cost associated with really answering the question, “What do you want?” But, there is courage that comes with clarity.
Find the power to move despite your fear.
People will freak out
Moving toward what you want disrupts stagnant people and makes them feel uncomfortable.
I have a friend who decided in his early 40’s that he wanted to become a doctor. He left his management position to go back to college, then medical school, then residency and now, he’s a new practicing doctor in his 50’s.
His extended family thought he was crazy. They begged him not to do it.
But, he knew what he wanted and he moved forward.
He is happier (and wealthier) than he’s ever been.
I have another friend who is very risk-averse. She has two brothers who are serial entrepreneurs. She expressed to me once, “Ugh, I wish they would just give it all up. They are stressing me out.”
You might be stressing people out, but that’s for them to deal with.
Know what you want and “be about it.”
Final words
Figuring out what you want may not seem that important.
But, I’ll be the first to say that not becoming a Focused Person can have catastrophic effects on your entire life trajectory.
A while back, a boy I was dating told me that “he doubted my ability to mother because of my business aspirations.”
For whatever reason, this comment initiated a devastating identity crisis. Were these desires to create and expand in all areas of my life wrong?
In my depressed and angry state, I made the rash decision that I didn’t actually want to be a mother or a wife. Everything would just be easier if I went at this whole life thing alone.
During this season of despair, I went to church one Sunday.
About 10 minutes into the service, a family with 6 kids walked in late. The only available seats were in the front row so they puttered past me, one-by-one.
Something about this beautiful family struck me at my core.
I burst into tears as I thought, “Oh my gosh, how did I forget that I wanted that?”
As we’re less than a month away from welcoming in our first child, I am so grateful for this moment of clarity that came during church that day. I’m so grateful that I got clear on what I really wanted.
I can’t imagine how tragic my life would be without Travis or this little baby who we are obsessed with already.
Leave your dang job
If you hate your job, hate the business you’ve created or if there’s something in your life that needs to be changed:
- Figure out where you are
- Figure out where you want to go
- Go there
Be a Focused Person.
The world needs you and what you have to offer in your truest form.
If you need help, I gotchu.
LESGO,
KJ
